New York Parents Club Founder, Pam Wolf
Greetings New York Parents Club!
A friend told me a blog-provoking story yesterday–she’d found a notebook in her ten-year-old daughter’s bedroom with a page titled, “Boys I’ve kissed.” The list contained the names of five neighborhood boys, all a year or two older than her daughter.
Now, the first question running through my mind is, “How would I address this with one of my daughters?”
But my friend was focused on an entirely different question: “Should I have been going through my daughter’s things to begin with?”
She felt guilty and wondered if she should even bring it up, considering the way she’d come across the information.
I empathized with her plight.
With four children aged 18 and under in my own home, privacy and personal boundaries are common topics of discourse.
There is a fine line between protecting our children from themselves and others and, well, snooping.
The privacy boundaries are clear when our children are very young–there aren’t any.
Then comes the day when they close the bathroom door.
In the blink of an eye, backpacks, bedrooms, purses, wallets, cell phones, journals and anything else they deem “theirs” become off-limits.
It’s easy to believe the motto “privacy is a privilege,” which implies that if a child is trustworthy, and gives us no cause for concern they’ve earned that privilege.
In my opinion, even a trustworthy child needs guidance, protection–and sometimes an adult intervention.
Your turn!
How much privacy do children need?
How do you establish the boundaries in your home?
And, if you did stumble upon something troubling amongst your child’s belongings, what would you do?
LET IT OUT!
Pam Wolf
