- New York Parents Club Founder, Pam Wolf
Greetings New York Parents Club!
My youngest son has a best friend he adores. The two spend as much time together as all adult parties involved will allow, taking turns hosting one another in their homes. My son’s friend is well behaved, respectful and a pleasure to be around.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of our children’s friendships was this mutually beneficial?
All of my children, however, have been through phases where I’ve questioned whether a particular friend (or group of friends) was, how shall I say it, appropriate?
One of them will return from a friend’s house with an attitude I’ve never seen before. When confronted, I’ll hear the standard, “Jane talks to her mother like that and doesn’t get in trouble!” or “Everyone else stays out that late, why can’t I?
Of course, we’d like to believe our children will follow the examples set in our homes, even when we’re not around.
The truth is, even the best parenting cannot prevent a child from possibly falling in with the wrong crowd or experimenting with a new behavior out of peer-led curiosity.
So how do we “manage” our children’s friendships while still granting them the freedom to make–and learn from–their mistakes?
I believe it begins with participation. While I don’t pick my children’s friends, I make sure I know who they are. I talk to my children often about their friendships and I never hesitate to let them know when a behavior they’ve picked up along the way is unacceptable.
Your turn!
Do you “pick” your children’s friends?
How do you handle “learned behaviors” that come from their friendships?
Have you…or would you…end one of your children’s friendships if there was cause for concern?
LET IT OUT!
Pam Wolf
