YOUNG LADY has always been one of those perfectly behaved, sweet young things that you can take anywhere. She uses her indoor voice, she never throws a fit in public and she has never hit, pushed, bitten or otherwise maimed another child.
When YOUNG LADY started preschool, I was horrified at the antics of some of the little boys in her class. Pushing, shouting, wrestling on the floor….all of it seemed way out of control and possibly hazardous to my delicate little flower of a child. I often looked at the mothers of these wild boys and thought, “Who ARE these women? What kind of MOTHERS are these?” I’ll admit it: I judged. I just couldn’t understand what kind of parent could raise a child to be so out of control.
Hello, Karma! I see you’ve come to bite me in the tushy!
Boy oh boy do I deserve this LITTLE GUY after engaging in all that sancti-mommy-ous judging. Now I’m the mom of the caveman with a megaphone mouth and I can feel all those first-time moms with daughters giving me the once over. I deserve it.
Today I brought my son to preschool. As soon as we entered the lobby, a throng of his little buddies shouted his name and ran towards him. I beamed with pride. My LITTLE GUY is liked! He’s like “Norm” from Cheers! And the boys rushed over….fast…and they kept coming…and they didn’t stop….and they all tacked him, resulting in a 6-kid pile-up with LITTLE GUY at the bottom. And you know what? LITTLE GUY loved it!
After a few of the other babysitters and moms and I pealed the kids off of each other, the boys ran off to pound on the fish tank or throw books on the floor. Just as we were laughing at our boisterous young men, I began to notice a huddle of moms in the corner speaking in hushed tones. It hit me: They were talking about me, my kid, and how wild he is. They were wondering what kind of mother raises a kid who can’t control himself in public. They were feeling superior because they had calm, sweet, well-behaved girls and these moms were certain that it was the parenting, not the gender that resulted in each kid’s behavioral trend.
Like I said, Karma’s a…..well, I deserve it. I judged without knowing the full story. I didn’t understand that even when LITTLE GUY is being a GOOD LITTLE GUY, his little body is a storage box for boundless energy and an insatiable appetite for motion. Thank goodness I can send him to New York Kids Club for gym class and open play during the winter months when the playground is no longer a viable option for “getting our sillies out”. I understand now that it has nothing to do with how I raised my kids. It has everything to do with how they’re built.
Then again, I do know a few boys who are calm, focused good listeners and a few girls who can tear up a room faster than LITTLE GUY. Is it possible that I’ve done this? That I somehow treated LITTLE GUY and YOUNG LADY differently and that I’ve raised them to behave like the stereotypical son and daughter? Or am I just overthinking things (as usual) and being too hard on myself for being too hard on all those mothers of boys years ago?
What do YOU think?
